EIA and a day of reflection

Well today is Tuesday and not much is going on, i called telephone banking today and finally looks like EIA has made the deposit, im telling you this jumping through hoops for govt agencies is not making me a happy camper and today at 1:30pm i have to go to the office and get reassessd to see if i still qualify to get EIA for like a measly $505 per month, jumping through yet more hoops the $505 that includes rent so when all is said and done $200 month to live off and i have to tell you the way assistance treats you is downright degrading and humiliating,  guess they dont feel that we are worth anything just prooves that they dont give a shit about the rest of the population i would like to refer to it as the forgotten class because for the most part we are frowned upon and treated like shit, of course this is how it has been for me just my experience here in winnipeg.
There have been many more examples of how in the past i have been treated while being on assistance when i remember them i would like to add them to my blog as it is an inside look of how many of us get treated and think people need to know as it will be an eyeopener for many.
I again slept really well last night and have been since i moved here, being in this seniors highrise is the best move i have made in a while other than being in the shelter and have to thank the executive director for helping to get me in here because normally you are not able to get into seniors housing which is 55 plus and up ONLY no exceptions, speaking of shelters the one that i just left has made a really big impact in my life and did not realize just how much of a big impact the staff have made on me especially so the executive director she is the lady that i had my personal sessions with once a week on mondays and have to say that woman really knew how to do her job well and learned a many great things from her and am now pleased to say that i am able to straight out say "no" to people when i need and have to, i have never been able to do that until i went to the shelter and a girl that i became friends with in shelter she did not realize what an impact she had on me.
I just got home a while ago and was out for most of the afternoon it is kind of snowing and raining at the same time and the wind is a bit cold but not like -50 by any means of the imagination so im not complaining…I picked up a few groceries from stupidstore on the way home.
When I was at the EIA office today it really brought me back to the time when i was in Victoria BC homeless, alone and in survival mode while i was waiting for the appt at 1:30 i saw people come and go some others i had overheard sadly were staying at the salvation army because assistance would not help them much, only $40 per week is what i heard and then began reliving what i had gone through, looking back now sometimes i wonder how on gods green earth i kept my sanity the entire time I was in BC.
Also in the EIA office i was reliving the soup kitchen that i had frequently been to to have supper with all the others, and looking back now i had never seen anything like it in all my life i was in such shock but held back my emotions until after i had left till the next day and when i finally got to where i was staying i broke down and cried endlessly because i had never known that side of life or experienced it…anyway, while we were all waiting for the doors to open for supper i had been looking around the place and what i saw was people lying on the floors couches, chairs with their blankets god knows when or if they had been washed recently there were others that i dont think had had a shower in days and i dont think its because they did not want to have one but rather there were no facilities available for them to use this is the ugly side to homelessness that no one sees nor cares about, as mentioned previously the forgotten class.
You know I had a different outlook on homeless people than i do now… years ago i had no use for people that were homeless my line was always "go out and get a job"
and having been homeless myself and seeing the other side of life on the streets it has changed me and my outlook on the homeless people i now have a diffent attitude toward these people, during my times at the soup kitchen in BC i had the pleasure of eating with others and some of the stories they had to tell me were amazing for example one man i spoke to had a PHd he had been laid off of his job and as bad luck would have it things had been going wrong in his life and consequently got worse and the end result was homelessness, another man i spoke to at my table one night, a business owner, his business had failed and was unable to provide for his family..end result……they left him he had divorce papers served on him got divorced and was heading out to the west coast ending up in Victoria BC trying to make a new life and a young couple who i was starting to get to know and had been at the soup kitchen several times said that they wanted to be homeless to see what it was like well um that kind of blew me away im thinking why on gods green earth would you want to do that for and their response was "just want to know what its like" i in turn said to them well "you dont know what its like to be homeless unless you are forced into that situation then its a different story" and honestly the effects would be different like major stress, wondering where your next meal is coming from, where am i going to sleep tonight, am i going to be able to sleep and always used to wonder why people on the street used drugs and alcohol well i have to tell you i now know why….it is their way of coping, to escape reality, to not feel the fear and numb the pain these are some of those things that people experience and yes, some even have a nervous breakdown too.
So, the next time you walk down the street and see a homeless person perhaps we should wonder what got them there in the first place as sometimes, like me, it was not a choice but rather circumstances that got them there.
It Is almost 2am and i need to go get some rest now

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