A long day and more memories

Hello everyone:
 
I wrote a blog yesterday and It was a nasty one I was pissed off at everything but mostly assistance so I took out my anger In my blog…normally Im not like that Its just when things start to come down on me and feeling overwhelmed I get like that, anyways today thank god was a new day and had a much better one than yesterday hopefully things from yesterday will straighten themself out or atleast heres hoping.
So today I was on the job hunt so was out of the house by 7:45 AM went down to an employment agency had testing done and an Interview at that office now I should know by tomorrow If I have the job or not  I really hope so It will be Monday to Friday so what Im thinking Is coolness!!! no weekends!! It only pays $9.25/hr but at this point I dont care I will make more at this potental job than on assistance.
I had to fill out a couple of Incident reports yesterday because of some tenants In the building who like to cause nothing but shit so that Is now done and out of the way and sent to the Manitoba Housing Representatives thank the good lord the 1 couple Is moving out  May 1st that truly Is a blessing and the other guy well after I told him to literally "shut up and piss off" he has left me alone since the piece of shit that he Is anyway enough of my ranting and raving about that taking up to much of my space.
Yesterday we had Poulins Exterminators here at the block to spray all the apartments for pests (bed bugs) although I did not have any they were doing all the suites regardless and the stuff they sprayed wow It was so strong I Instantly had a headache really bad migraine for a better part of the day eventually It disappeared though which I was really happy about.
On the way home today I had popped In the VIA rail station and sometime this year or early next I would like to take the train all the way to Halifax and back mind you the accomodations might be a bit expensive as you have to pay accomodations on top of the fare but thats okay for me Its worth It, so what Im thinking Is I will go In the low season which Is October to April I guess from Winnipeg to Halifax It Is a 3 day train ride each way and go for 10 days this has been one of my dreams to do for many years now and plan to do It before I die which hopefully wont be anytime soon but we never know when our time Is up and since I am getting no younger I also plan to fly to Hawaii again and spend 2 full relaxing drinking Pina Coladas and Mai Tai’s weeks there and after what I heard about Mexico and the swine flu I highly doubt I will ever be going there and I mean like seriously never now because between drug cartel and and swine flu well lets just say thats enough for me.
So my evening has been pretty relaxing I sat In the bathtub for a couple of hours chillin and watched a bit of the exterminators pretty Interesting show tonight they showed where one of the guys had to get rid of a rattlesnake In a business that would not be my Idea of fun thats for sure but a challenge all the same.
Reflecting back from 1 1/2 years ago I am so much better off In so many ways now, I never knew how to stop the neverending cycle of abuse that has occured with me over the course of my life not knowing what the signs and the red flags were I have now come to realize that they were there the whole time but never knew what to look for I have had to endure not just physical, psycholgical, sexual and spiritual but have also had people over the course of my life use mind manipulation on me to get what they want and the fact that I was, and, still am a nice person the only difference with me now Is I am able to recognize my boundaries and so proud of myself because I am now able to say "no" to people which I  have never been able to say my whole life because I was always afraid that people would never accept me and have also come to the realization that If people dont like me or are not willing to accept me then they are the ones missing out and also If people are not able to accept the fact that I have gained weight and are not able to see me for the person I am on the Inside they can go blow Joe I really despise the fact that when people look at others and think or say oh that person Is to ugly or to big to be around and they would be embarassed being seen with me well then I guess they can go to hell to people like that are a waste of my valuable time wish I had had the same attitude back then when I was In school.
Speaking of school I just had a memory I remember that when It came to lunchtimes many times I would feel out of place going In the cafeteria as there were so many people, I dont know on how many occassions I had my lunch In the bathroom by myself I felt so alone and  I think I was In grade 8 or maybe It was seven Im not sure I had such a low self esteem In school and think It was due to being bullied alot by girls that could not stand me like Robyn and her gang of friends I still remember her to this very day I was always afraid to go to the girls washroom during classes because I knew If Robyn was In the same class with me she would also excuse herself after I left and next thing I knew she would be In the bathroom along with her firiends and start In on me and beat me up push me around call me a slut, whore, bitch, scrag bag, douchebag, fuckface you name It and It was probably said to me and looking at how I used to be was very timid and shy would not even hurt a fly my parents I think brought me up well for many reasons one of which to this very day I respect others opinions and their way of life I accept people for the way that they are however, at the same time respect Is earned and not given there Is a difference.
I also remember a time when I was walking home from school with what at the time I thought were my friends I was never afraid of spiders at that point In my life however, my friends played what they thought was a practical joke on me they asked me to turn around I did and there were a bunch of creepy crawlers called spiders in a bottle they were thrown at me In my face and to this very day I have a bad case of spiderphobia.
Im all talked out now more to follow tomorrow
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