Real Food


Hello to everyone:
 
Well, I hope everyone had a good day today…mine was not to bad although after yesterdays comment that was said to me by someone really upset me greatly and still bothers me and have my doubts as to If we will have a friendship and an apology be forthcoming Leo’s never forget I am a loyal friend and do not expect people to Insult me that simply pisses me off and Is very disrespectful.
Anyhow on a happier note I actually had real food earlier and boy I tell you, you would have thought I had died and gone to heaven I guess I am not quite vegetarian yet oh but my god  1 piece baby Is all I needed Gord who Is a tenent In the building here had gone over to San Lucia came back and offered me a piece of pizza oh my god It was so yummy It was like I was having a foodgasm you know kind of like orgasm you would have thought I never had food before anyhow I feel much better now although now I would like to go back to Calgary with Moksha so that I can get one of those Peters Burgers from Peters drive In now those really are to die for just thinking about It makes my mouth water yummy!!! but I have to remember my waistline Iv lost to much to go back to where I once was and have to say Im dam proud of myself  okay so now that I have talked to death about food on to something different…today I did not feel like doing the stairs In the building as I was to  perhaps tomorrow being Thursday and speaking of Thursday wooo hoo payday for moi!!! and Im going shopping for pants, getting my ears pierced, having my nails done and going to start tanning at Fabutan not only am I smart and have brains but will be one hot looking woman to boot and not that It is Intentional but might make other women jealous not that It is my Intention to do so but us women seem to have this thing about competing against one another and wanting to have a mans attention however for me It does not really even matter like seriously whatever but have to admit having attention from a man makes me feel really good It is quite the self esteem boost and of course there is nothing like having eye contact with someone It speaks volumes without actually saying anything. 
I have been feeling quite amorous lately and sometimes really miss the company of a male companion to be able to share things with to do things with like going to movies, going out for dinners, Intimacy, the hugs, kisses, cuddling and most Importantly communicating with each other and just spending quality time together so since I dont have that I tend to keep myself for the most part relatively busy at night as that is when It hits me the hardest usually and most nights I come down to the lounge after 12 midnite and spend a couple hours down here until I am able to sleep and speaking of sleep I am starting to get  so to everyone have a good night sleep and have an awesome day Thursday will try and do an entry tomorrow

Moksha is in town and having a good week


Hi everyone:
Well, I figured since I have not written In my blog In what seems ages tonight was the time to do so although I am well known sometimes for being quite the procrastinator the way I see It Is why put off today what you can always do tomorrow…anyhow I tell you so much has happened In my life since I last wrote like good heavens where am I to start?
I decided last month to make the big step and to turn vegetarian and have to say did I ever make a good choice Im glad that I did…wow you know I never thought that I would see the day but now that I have I feel healthier and have had no problems with my health thus far and hope that It will remain that way and If thats just not enough In the building that I live In there Is 17 flights of stairs that I go up and down atleast 3x per night and have been for over a month now and the pay off so far has been a great one like seriously all my clothes are literally starting to fall off me woooooo hoooooooo!!!!!! and I get looks all the time now and have to say that man does that ever make me feel good!!…I was also asked out on a date recently I, In turn decided to decline at this time for my own personal reasons.
It has been quite the week my good friend Moksha from Calgary Is In town and think I may have convinced Moksha to stay until the end of the month which will be good all the more time I get to spend with her….when I spoke with her later In the day she told me that she would only be able to stay until Thursday morning the 30th and would then have to head back home what a bummer but there Is always Christmas which will be here In a few months so hopefully will see her again then.
So today I have decided that this week I am going to get my ears pierced once again and since there Is a fabutan across the street from where I live Im going to go tanning and get my legs brown and none of this white leg stuff anymore oh and did I mention I need to go shopping for more pants dress pants for work and Im thinking perhaps Instead of sweats Im going to Invest in a couple pairs of Im thinking jeans since I have never worn any and want to try something different but will only buy them If they actually look good on me, thinking of also getting highlights In my hair and cover this god awful gray that Im getting as I start getting depressed when I see gray as It just reminds me that Im seriously getting old and no offence to my older friends In their 50″s.
So I have also decided that I am going to do what I did when I first moved Into this block and that Is to keep more to myself and If people want to get to know me better then what Im thinking Is Instead of me approaching them they will have to approach me I will however continue to say a friendly hello to all that I encounter I have decided to do this because then I will be able to weed out people and see who really has more of an Interest In getting to know me on a more personal basis as opposed to others wanting to find out Information about me and pretending to be a friend I have learned over the course of a number of years to be much more cautious when It comes to people after having been betrayed endless times by others
Moksha called me later this evening and was absoulutely beside herself thats when my counselling skills had to come Into play I mostly just listened but on occassion she did want my Input and I gladly had given It we have so much In common and many similiar life experiences as well sometimes I really do not know what I would have done a couple of years ago without Moksha when I was homeless and beside myself Moksha and Colin were the only two people that I could really rely on to give me the emotional support I needed and helped me to seriously keep my sanity those two people will forever be a part of my life as they are a real treasure to me they have no Idea just how much eithier I just wish there were more Moksha and Colin’s out there.
Anyways now that I have rambled off and talked way too much what Im thinking Is BED! although It is like 4AM Sunday morning yes you guessed It cant sleep but guess I should try anyway please would someone knock me out cold so that I can sleep without these god awful drugs the quacks give me every month ( my mother used to refer to drs as quacks I am of the same opinion obviously).
So to all my good wonderful awesome friends nighty night dont let the bed bugs bite and no I dont have any

Monday and another day


Hello to everyone:
 
Well, today Is the start of a new week and still emotionally drained I had a good nights sleep last night but was finding It so very difficult to get up this morning and get my shit together still feeling very much under the weather although It Is a very nice day today and not In to much of a bright happy mood In fact Im thinking hibernation In my suite for the rest of the day I might go on the second floor on the balcony and do my homework and take my dinner down with me later at around 7PM when It starts to cool off not to sure yet It all depends on If I can find my entry card key as I seem to have misplaced It In my apt hoping I can find It sometime today.
I thought I would have been up to doing alot more writing today but Im thinking I dont want to be In the lounge or around people right now so another entry another day so to all my wonderful friends take care and have a great day
 

Sunday and a day of bad news


Hello to everyone:
 
Well, sorry to say but this Is kind of a venting session yet again It is Sunday and today has just been very emotional for me, all the way around I have been very upset, Irritated, edgy, confused and annoyed at many things least of all the gossip and shit that goes on around here where I live and Im not even downstairs when It happens but I have this ability to sense such things and lately there has been plenty of It with much negativity I have also found when I am In the lounge that peoples attitudes are changing toward me It Is suttle but I pick up on things quickly I notice the small things and dont like what I am feeling whatsoever and I wish others would stay out of my f*** business like I sometimes feel like telling them all to f**** but I wont because I am a lady and will gracefully just choose to Ignore those people that are not so nice and that backstab me anyway I guess I still do care what others think of me but I know that I am a good person with a big heart.
I have been feeling lately that I have been pushed to my limits and just about had enough I am feeling like I have not been told the whole truth, Im sick and tired of being Ignored and what seems to me to be endless excuses, I understand that people do get busy In their day to day life but communication seriously Is a must In any type of friendship/relationship I have been trying to communicate with a certain Individual for what seems an eternity and really starting to feel like a sack of shit like Im feeling like maybe I am just not worth talking to or maybe I have pissed off this person If this Is the case It would be nice If I was told  or maybe It could be a suttle way of saying I dont want anything to do with you what Im thinking Is we need to take some time out and seriously smell the flowers which surround us and try and enjoy life and what It has to offer and when you have someone good In front of you Instead of staying busy all the time make the time to see that person enjoy one anothers company and do things together …I have really tried to be very understanding and patient and although I still am I seriously have been pushed to my limits and almost ready to call It quits just today I am really finding It very difficult to keep my head above water I had a long distance call tonight from Calgary and have to say the news was not the greatest It was about my adopted aunty and quite frankly I am beside myself.
And on top of everything else yesterday someone that I was starting to get to know and thought I was supposed to be seeing went Into the hospital and quite honestly was not sure If he was even gonna come out I was seriously very upset I was able to hide It well but deep down my heart sank I was extremely upset and have still yet to see him so right now Im really not sure what Is going on but was told from one of his friends that he would be home more than likely Saturday night later but never saw him so where is he no Idea.
Tomorrow Is another day and as usual I will put on my smiling happy face I am very emotionally exhausted right now so I need to go get some sleep.
So to all my friends may you have a good week and take care of yourselves Rock on!!  

Thursday and the day drags on


Hello everyone:
 
Hope everyone Is having a great day today…hopefully much better than mine anyway as I was off to a really bad start this morning last night I had a bad case of Insomnia was up all night long and surprised I have made It through the whole entire day and the pillows and bed are sure looking good to me right now at just after 6:30PM so I would have to say It will be a very early night for me, I have also really had a bit of an off day today something has been nagging at me and will not leave me Its almost like Im sensing a friend In trouble something is just not sitting right with me.
Im going through many emotions right now and have no Idea If I am coming or going and It is driving me nuts there is so much going on In my life right now and with my current health Issues Its kind of starting to concern me after almost a month my health is just not getting any better, I may also need another Inhaler and Im sleeping now every two days and that seriously is just not normal and getting really sick because of It I mean im not stressed out or anything asnd dont think I have anything on my mind that really is of any Importance.
Anyhow I wanted to tell you what happened today In the lobby at 101 early this morning gee Im telling you so much for being nice anyhow this guy by the name of Rocky he was outside and came In so I thought I would be nice and open the door for him since I was right there talking to one of the security guards well shit no sooner did I and the guy tells me to fuckoff and called me a slut several times well you can just about imagine my response I was just like beside myself and then all of a sudden I became very very angry and found myself wanting to pound the son of a bitch to the f*** pavement but obviously because I dont have a mean streak in my body and could do no one any harm, like a lady I went outside and just cried I was so upset the little fuck bag please pardon my language god I never talk like this It almost does not pay to be nice to others in this building and so many others seem to take It to a different level meaning of course the male gender well you know what I say fuck them all and If they think they are going to get Into my pants they can drop dead first because it will be a cold day In hell like seriously no way and no how anyway back to the subject at hand I think I am respected here in this building and dont want some Idiot giving me a bad reputation by saying things that are not even true anyway the security guards made out a report and was going to call Manitoba Housing today but did not have a chance as I have been waiting for phone calls all day long and needless to say going stir crazy too! but will be calling first thing Friday morning.
More news on the home front at 101 It seems that I have a shadow now some older lady In her 50’s and this lady swings both ways If you get my meaning here, she calls me honey all the time, follows me around, wants to go to the store with me so I can buy her stuff and If there is one thing that really Irritates me Its when somone gives you something like fuck like say thankyou Its In the dam dictionary for petes sake, and needless to say she burps in public and am embarassed to be around her so I am taking a different approach with her now since whe wont take hints Its called being passive aggressive lets hope and pray she gets my point as I am uncomfortable being direct with anyone.
Anyhow everyone I am seriously exhausted here and need to go to bed fairly soon so although It is almost 8PM my brain Is In the process of slowly turning to mush so before that happens I am going to sign off so to all sweet dreams.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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