Another day


Hello to my friends:
 
Well It has been a while since I have written In my blog so now Is as good a time as any to do some writing there has been so much happening In my life I dam near feel somedays especially so lately like I am about to have a nervous breakdown yet again, I have also recently found out that Richard whom I thought was a friend  has betrayed my trust, I recently sent him an email about a week ago and found out three days ago that a mutual friend of ours Allan told me In confidence that the email that I had sent to Richard well basically Allan knows about It needless to say not only was I hurt but  I guess the emails I send are not confidential and perhaps they never were to begin with so at this point I have no longer given him permission to read my blog not to mention I have more trust Issues and only trust just a few people In this building now It has gone from 4 people to two now …I am so sick and tired of people betraying my confidence well I have put an end to It all fuck everybody!!!!.
Last Saturday I also had to speak with Richard regarding a few things as he Is supposedly helping me with the tenant committee and because he has been on the committee before I usually go to him for some advice and direction that was part of why I needed to speak to him but also It was about a letter from one of the tenants In the building as It pertained to him well needless to say I was sorry that I called I got my head biten off got yelled at and not to mention he was shouting at me I tried to keep my emotions In check but I was full of tears on the other end of the phone not that Richard had even noticed and not that he even cares In the first place and although he said to me sorry Iv heard the same shit before actions speak louder than words then I find out from his so called on again off again girlfriend that he told her that he had yelled at me not sure what anyone else thinks here but I would not be so proud to tell anyone about something like that  I did like him at one point but now It seems I am almost to the point of anger when I see him anywhere present In the building now and I am very sad because I do not wish to be that way and when I sent him the email I told him that he was an asshole sometimes too.
Anyway I have been upset for over a week now I have only slept 2 days out of seven and I have not been feeling very well and constantly depressed It seems night time Is exceptionally bad for me and my mind goes 100 miles a minute It really seems to me that I am regressing back to the way I was when I had gone Into shelter I Isolate myself from other people I do not seem to have a regular routine and somedays In fact most days I dont even eat because the sight of food just does not even appeal to me.
Today when I got up which was at around 5:30PM I went up to see a friend of mine I spent about 30 minutes with her and then came down to the lounge I was about to go out to the dollar store to pick up plates etc for the monthly meeting when I realized that my keys for the apt and my cell phone have all but disappeared I looked high and low and nope still not found so Im like totally stressing and not that I have enough to worry about already just add a little bit more to my already big plate of shit.
Upon closing I have much more to say but maybe tomorrow I will write thank you for reading

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