A marriage made in hell

Throughout the course of my life when living at home and up until I left home I had very high self-esteem and knew how to be assertive felt really good about myself and then there was my first serious relationship ( I shall call him Stephen).
 
I had been dating him for about 2-3 years he was treating me well for example flowers, candy, being affectionate, dinners, movies you name It he would do anything for me to make me happy up until I got married then so many things changed.
 
Stephen became very abusive and  began to disrespect me In so many different ways,  It began in a suttle nature with Insults, punching walls, making comments about other women saying “wow” she’s hot! or words to that effect and making me feel Inferior and not In the least bit Important.
 
The there was the sex when It came to sex not only was I starting to feel like a sex object but my self-esteem took a real beating.  Stephen became very overbearing, controlling, abused me not only of a physical nature but sexually and emotionally,  he made me give him oral sex and cumming In my mouth which I found really disgusting and gagged every time he didn’t care he also forced me to have anal sex which really made me very uncomfortable not only that It was also very painful and needless to say I was glad when it was all over.
 
I told him that I would not do It again and told him my reasons but that did not seem to matter to him and now that I was married I felt locked into this marriage and did not think that I could get divorced It was much more difficult back then to a divorce unless you were literally being threatened with your life,  so I lived a life of this for just under 2 years my self-esteem and assertiveness went right down the toilet and emotionally I started to become a basket case feeling so Isolated, unwanted, unloved, used, you name It I felt It.
 
I also had in-laws that for some reason just could not stand me and had to interfere with everything in our life which made things even more difficult to the point where I told Steve we were moving to the west coast having tried so very hard to have them accept me but in the end I would not conform to what they wanted so they never accepted me .
 
 I had no one to talk to feeling so alone not knowing what to do I could not tell my parents as my mom just had a reoccurrence of cancer and dad having had a double bypass I was not about to tell my parents just could not bring myself to put my parents through that and at that time I had no Idea that there were shelters available.
 
 The abuse with Stephen It started with Insults as a joke, being out for dinner and him looking at other women while he was with me eating dinner at the table and making It obvious which I find very disrespectful and actually remember another time when one night he took me to a fancy restaurant we were walking down 5th avenue In Calgary on a saturday night believe It was the Westin Hotel we were going to have dinner,  when a hooker approached him right In front of me and propositioned him not only was I pissed off but was ready to pound her to the pavement.
 
Advertisements

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Ambrose Trinkley
    Nov 06, 2012 @ 19:23:47

    It’s difficult to find well-informed people about this topic, however, you seem know what your talking about Thanks.

Comments are welcome, but please no spam those comments will automatically be removed

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: