A new day


Everyday is a new day make the most of it.

 

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If you have a dream go after it


There is nothing stopping you

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Be Inspired!


Every now and then it’s always nice when someone inspires you, it does not matter if it is Inspirational quotes or Inspirational affirmations  here are a few that I would like to share with you hope it helps  you to get through the day.

  • The only way with finding your limits  is by trying to go beyond them. Try doing the impossible today.
  • The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event, you go to bed  in one kind of world  and wake up to find yourself in another quite different. So, why not imagine that snow every morning before you pull back the curtain on your life?
  • Our biggest fear is what would happen if we dared to feel really alive, to risk being fully awake and inspired. What would happen if we really showed the world what we can do.
  • There is no end, there is no beginning. there is only the boundless promise  and inspiration of each new day.
  • My life is in my hands, I will let that thought inspire me to do something special today.
  • When the student is ready, the teacher appears-you might find your inspiring teacher in the most unusual place.
  • Archimedes said, “give me a balancing point, and I can move the world” well, that balancing point is here, now, today.
  • It is only by risking going too far that I can discover how far I can go.
  • Paint a rainbow in your mind and let that inner inspiration take you far beyond what you thought possible.
  • What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
  • The search for perfection will either make you or be your downfall.
  • Every day ask yourself am I making a simple thing complicated?
  • Open your ears, your mind and your heart. This is how you open your future.
  • Actions stimulates thought, so when you can’t think of any way to do it, start doing it anyway.
  • Your mind is bigger than you think, more powerful than you can imagine.
  • In the game of life will you be a spectator or a player?
  • What lies behind, and what lies ahead are insignificant compared to what lies within.
  • We might not have it all together, but together we have it all!
  • Doing what you love is where happiness lives.
  • The happiest people in the world are those who do what is right..
  • Look beneath the surface  and there is good in everyone. Today I am going to have  fun spotting the good in everyone I meet.
  • The highest reward of effort is not what you get from it, but what you become from it.
  • Happiness is not a goal, it is the by-product working for a goal and getting there.
  • There’s no point in wishing things were different, so I am going to tell myself that what I have is the best I could hope for, and make myself happy by making it happen anyway.
  • Happiness is a matter of getting what you need, so look at what you need; maybe you already have it.
  • Happiness is not absence of problems: happiness is learning to enjoy the problems.
  • Happiness consists of finding your unique talent and then using it to your greatest potential.
  • Looking for happiness and not finding it, is just the world telling you that you have lost touch with your own inner resources.
  • Have you done anything lately that’s worth remembering?
  • The way to unhappiness is to always want more than you will ever get.
  • Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.
  • True happiness comes from within, it doesn’t depend on what happens.
  • The best way to measure wealth is by counting the number of your friends.

Positive attitude will get you positive results


I thought that today I would share some positive affirmations for Happiness and Forgiveness and although for me, sometimes I find it hard to live by these affirmations I do try all the same, it can change our outlook on how we see things sometimes too.

  • Happiness does not depend upon who I am or what I have, It depends on what I choose  to think.
  • Today I am issuing a free pardon to all my locked up feelings, By forgiving them I am free too.
  •  Starting today, I forgive everyone who has ever hurt me in any way. I accept they had their problems  and likely still have. They can keep them, they are no longer my problem.
  • When you forgive someone, it is for your benefit, not theirs. They still have the guilt, but you no longer resent.
  • I forgive you for being the way you were. Something caused you to act that way, so I release you because I am ready to move on now.
  • The person you find hardest to forgive, is the one you actually need to start with.
  • You don’t have to know how to forgive, you only need to decide to, and it happens.
  • I now believe their own pain made them behave the way they did, so I am ready to forgive them and start healing my pain.
  • I can move beyond myself into the place where forgiveness lives so I can start to live.
  • This will pass; good things happen to good people. Good people remember but forgive.
  • You can bury feelings, but forgiveness lets them breathe.
  • Having a dark past does not stop me from having a bright future.

Another trip to the hospital


Hi Everyone:

It has been a while since I did my last post, it has been a very stressful week with many things happening here. As of Monday night yet again Colin, my room-mate is back in hospital only this time it is not an infection but rather blood clots in his lungs. Most of this week I have been beyond stressed out been cleaning this apartment from top to bottom rearranging many things like the apartment as well as packing up my boxes so as soon as there is a one bedroom apartment available I will be taking it, I am looking forward to moving out on my own again with my children (cats Kennie and Weston) and the stress of living here will hopefully be gone.

I am so worried about Colin,I have known him for twenty-six years and I have had a few times this week where I have cried endlessly not knowing if he will be returning home not knowing what his prognosis will be, not knowing what the future holds for Colin. He really has no clue how much people care about him. When we spoke briefly on Wednesday night after me coming home from work I was so upset because he told me that he does not think that anyone cares about him no matter how many times I have told him differently Colin still refuses to believe it so I guess what I say makes no difference I have tried everything to help Colin the end result for me always seems to be banging my head against a wall unfortunately for him he has now pushed me away which makes me very sad because it did not have to happen that way.

I called the Foothills hospital this evening and spoke with his nurse she gave me some updates he is now on oxygen with blood thinners  apparently very depressed because no-one has been visiting him which for me is frustrating I work during the week and do not get home until late, this weekend I was going to go up and visit with him but think I am starting to show signs of burn out with having to clean this entire apartment  do my laundry, try to catch up on my sleep with doing what seems to be endless amounts of dishes not to mention I have deliveries to make for my Avon clients and get my Avon campaign books out for delivery I have about three hundred of them to deliver.

Tomorrow being Sunday I plan to get much rest and do as little as possible except sleep, tonight I just finished doing my laundry and the third load of dirty dishes meaning all of Colin`s tupperware that has been stuffed away for I have no idea how long have to tell you it was disgusting I also need to get some groceries in the house so that I can do some cooking for my work week.

It’s a cat’s life


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Trauma and how it has affected my life


I came across an article today about trauma and although it might be obvious to some people what trauma is, for others maybe not so obvious. Other people, like myself, years ago may second guess themselves as to what trauma really is and just plain think like I did and say to themself “oh I’m just over-reacting” it also did not help that people said the same thing to me, I guess if you hear it enough from others you begin to believe it too.

I am taking this article about trauma and writing about it here and to tell my story as well.

One in ten Canadians are living with the impacts of trauma I am one of them.These events cause terror, intense fear, horror, helplessness and physical stress reactions I continue to experience physical stress reactors to this day and when I get upset and stressed out I actually feel very sick.The impact of these events does not simply go away when they are over.Instead traumatic events are profound experiences that change the way children, adolescents and adults see themselves, the traumatic events that I have experienced in my life some of them still haunt me to this very day. I will talk of those at a later date.

A traumatic event involves a single experience, or enduring or repeated events,that completely overwhelm an individual’s ability to cope or integrate the ideas and emotions involved in that experience, traumatic events are beyond a persons control. It is not the event that determines whether something is traumatic to someone but the persons experience of the event.

Events that cause trauma

Homelessness, which I have experienced, when you have experienced this I can assure you it will change the way you look at a homeless person you will not treat them the same.

Sexual abuse, emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, financial abuse and lastly psychological abuse which unfortunately I have also been on the receiving end this one is really hard to deal with.

Rape from a person I did not know and honestly I thought my life was over.

Neglect,In my case I was on the receiving end of this when I became pregnant twenty-six years ago from my now former husband It was like I was just a maid he never cared about me looking back in retrospect.Long story, this subject will be on a different blog.

These are just some events that cause trauma with lingering effects that I, myself, have experienced.

Many people, like myself, have survived these types of events and still feel the impact and sometimes compromising my way of life. Because the traumatic experience was so terrible, it is normal for people to block experiences from memory I have done this, or try to avoid any reminders of the trauma like I have done with my father’s death,and to this day I still do not remember what happened after the church service and with my first newborn baby, to this very day if I hear one cry I get very upset and have to leave the room as this is a reminder of one of the children that I did have but died. Consequences of these survival mechanisms are a lack of integration of the traumatic experience, such that it becomes the experience in a person’s life. The lack of processing of the trauma means that it is ever-present for the survivor, and they feel as if the trauma happened yesterday when it could have been months or many years later in my case twenty-six.

The impact of traumatic events

The impact of traumatic events is felt physically, emotionally, behavioral, cognitively and spiritually I am living proof of that. Tthis is normal, and is the body’s way of coping with very difficult emotions. Talking about traumatic experiences is very hard and takes courage to speak up about.It has taken me years to open up and talk about what has happened to me I am now finally able to open up about things to hopefully help others who may have or are in the same situation remember this:

  • It is not your fault
  • You have survived I am living proof
  • Healing is possible look for resources in your neighborhood talk to friends and family that you can trust go to a counsellor/psychiatrist anything, the help is there to overcome these issues please use them as I have

Experiencing trauma changes people it did me, you may worry that you will never feel normal again that’s what I thought.Healing is the road to feeling normal and grounded. This journey is different for everyone,but the result is still the same being able to feel whole again.

Here are some myths and truths about Trauma which you may have already heard

Myth one

It happened a long time ago, time heals all wounds, you need to get over it.

The truth is I have had this said to me so many times and quite honestly so sick and tired of hearing it. It’s not that easy to do and I never exaggerate. The fact is trauma survivors rarely exaggerate their feelings and experiences. Just finding the courage to talk  about it can take years like it has taken me.I was afraid of being disbelieved and blamed  for the terrible experiences that we are powerless to prevent like I have.

Myth two 

You are exaggerating how bad it was to get attention and blame other people for your problems.

The truth is I don’t exaggerate and blame others for my problems many times people told me “you bring it on yourself” that is garbage plain and simple I have since realized that people I have before reached out to that said that well I no longer associate with any of them to me they are “toxic people” to my mental health. The fact is the impacts of traumatic events are often delayed  because people banish the memories from their consciousness like I have as this is a way to survive. By the time  people actually feel the full impact it could be many years since the trauma occurred which happened here in my case.

Myth three

You will never really be normal again.

The truth is If you hear  that very thing you may start to belive it I was starting to wonder what normal really was I could not see the forest for the trees meaning when you are in the moment  you don’t see things from an outsiders point of view. The fact is  trauma survivors may become stronger  and more resilient as a result of surviving and healing from their experiences. For me, this is the case, many years ago I never thought I would be writing like this not to mention trying to get through a day I am now so glad that I am able to write about these issues, not cry anymore and be able to reach out to others who might be going through this type of thing now or have before perhaps even saving ones life.

 Myth four

Once you get on the right medication you will be fine.

The truth is at least in my case, medication was not the only thing that I needed. I needed the counselling which is what I received when I finally arrived at Alpha House in Winnipeg four days a week intense counselling for almost an entire year along with medication to help me sleep at night which I still have to take to this very day otherwise I will not sleep and not be able to work the next day. The fact is medication is only one option for people in healing from the impacts of trauma. Healing is the process that involves time, and happens in partnership with supportive and understanding friends, family, community and helping professionals which luckily after years of searching and moving to a different province I was able to find through Alpha House and Nova House in Selkirk Manitoba. I will be forever grateful to them.

There are options available to begin the healing process please use them

  • Your nearest mental health association they can give you many resources
  • Talk about it like I have here, Trauma must be talked about  and brought out into the open. This is one of the most important steps  on the road to healing. It is also one of the hardest things to do belive me I know. Talking to someone you trust and feel comfortable with is a way to let some of the difficult  feelings out. Talking to someone who has experienced trauma  is a great way to get support and will give you a safe place to learn that you are not alone like I was. Other people are living with the same difficulties and its normal.
  • Get counselling find yourself a good counsellor check online for reviews. Counsellors are there to give you a safe place to begin or continue  your healing process. You deserve a space where you will be heard, not judged and accepted for who you are  despite what you’ve been through. Counselling is a place  where you can start to work on issues that are keeping you stuck.

Random acts of kindness


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Be determined and don’t give up


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Adapting to change


When I had first got settled into Winnipeg Manitoba into Alpha House in 2009 when I was ready I went into Victor Major job re-entry program one assignment we were given to do was pick a quote and write what the quote meant to us.I picked this particular quote and shared it with class and want to share it with you.

We can change if we want to but we have to want to. We will change if it is important to us.

I chose this quote because it applied to my life when I was in Manitoba then.To me this quote means that we the ability to change. We also  have to have the will to change and decide what priorities are important to us at that very moment.

For me, I was not sure what to do. I was like a lost puppy looking for my master and one day decided,”I have had  enough and going to change my life and make it what I want.. Having the will to survive physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual abuse  and up and leave it was absolutely something I had to do to keep my sanity. So, I changed my whole life and after months of emotional turmoil, living from women’s shelter to women’s shelter constantly on the move I had come to Manitoba to start my life over because of being determined to not live my life in misery anymore.Since being here in Manitoba the support that I have had has got me where I am today.

So, if you want to change you can,if you want to just do it!! And change can really bring out the best in you if you are open-minded.So do what is important to you at this moment and embrace change not only will you grow as a person but change will happen regardless, it is us that must adapt.

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