Just the basics in life

When I was well enough I had entered in to the Victor Mager job re-entry program as mentioned before, we were given another assignment to do this was self-actualization needs which I would like to share with you here there were questions that I am going to highlight here that we had to answer and the ones not highlighted are my answers past and present.

My physical needs

Do you have enough to drink and eat

Back in 2008 when I was homeless I was beside myself not knowing where my next meal was coming from, luckily enough I was able to find many good resources. I had eaten in the same soup kitchen everyday having dinner for close to a month we had dinner at four pm and the people who I dined with at the table surprised me. Most of them either had a stroke of bad luck, gambled their money away even their house without their spouse or family knowing! and even people who had master degrees some of these people were actually quite smart and how they ended up homeless only god knows.Some other people had a mental Illness which is understandable and turning to drugs and alcohol as this is their only way of coping and because I have been homeless I understand why some, if not most have turned to that very thing. I am proud to say that it is something I have never done and don’t have any plans on doing so either.

Have you got adequate shelter? Are you comfortable enough in that environment?

Again in 2008 when I was homeless I saw many things that were a shock to my system literally I saw another side of life called homelessness. When I saw this for the first time I literally sat there and cried I wanted to end it all right then and there I was almost  ready to put myself in the psychiatric ward. I was able to have some help with a cheap motel room but still had no fixed address it was adequate and better than nothing I was grateful but was always concerned about what I was going to do the following month.

Do you have enough clothing

When I got to the west coast being Victoria BC where I became homeless all I came with was the clothes on my back with two totes in tow along with my sanity, at that point I wondered if I would ever get myself back on my feet again.

How many hours do you sleep at night on average?

Well, now I can honestly say that I am getting lots of rest and sleep however, because I am now sleeping almost ten hours per day I have to wonder if the sleep that I was lacking when I was homeless has finally caught up to me with sleeping so much. I was in my early forties when I became homeless my body has gone through many changes since that time and now I am not so sure if I were homeless again I could deal with it anymore, honestly at this point if that were to ever happen to me again I would more than likely put myself in the psychiatric ward and give myself a mental break from all the stress.

Do you engage in physical activity and what type?

When I was much younger I was always physically active roller skating, biking, swimming my friends could never find me reflecting back now those were some of the best years of my life. After I got married I no longer did any of the things that I had wanted to do always thinking the perfect housewife, anything I wanted to do was always put on the back burner. It has been almost thirty years, been divorced for twenty-seven of them, as much as I try to get into physical activity these days I just lack the motivation.

My safety and security needs

Do you have any concerns about your safety at home or at work within your environment and community?

I feel pretty safe where I am now in shelter  my two kids being the cats Keenie and Weston they give me unconditional love and bring much joy to my life, Colin, unfortunately at this point sadly I have to say from my point of view there is no hope for him as far as I am concerned he is on a suicide mission smoking himself to death and doing nothing about his current weight not to mention living in a very unhealthy environment which for me thank god I am now out of  and no longer have the burden of cleaning up the apartment, My Avon business has suffered now because of it and unfortunately have now lost most, if not all my clients.

As for safety issue at work the environment I work in is fine however, when I get off after eight pm a woman walking alone two blocks to the nearest bus stop in an industrial area no-one around and no- one other than truckers driving down the road I think this speaks for itself not to safe if you ask me.

Do you live in fear from harm and crime?

I feel pretty safe in shelter in this quiet residential neighborhood, the only time when I am in fear from harm and crime is when I must leave work by myself  and walk two blocks to the nearest bus stop.

My love and belonging needs

Do you feel adequately loved and wanted?

When I was living at home with my parents I felt very loved and very wanted I could not have asked for better parents my mother was especially protective of me I never really knew why until my mother and I started to get together on Sundays after my father passed away that was our day together and them my mom told me the story about my brother who would have been fifty-two my mother had a miscarriage long story but I will tell you about that at a later date my father Don loved me just as much.

Do I have enough people in my circle that I love?

Well, yes actually and although I have no family left to speak of, dont care for intimate relationships with the opposite sex anymore I’m only looking for companionship where I am able to share most things with  just a friendship and nothing more than that, Claudette my friend in Manitoba she will be 74 next year and Alan will be 64 in October next year also living in Manitoba and Rose  as well I call her my big sis I miss her so much and  I have learned many things from Rose, Claudette and Alan guidance which I can never thank them enough for.


Another trip to the hospital

Hi Everyone:

It has been a while since I did my last post, it has been a very stressful week with many things happening here. As of Monday night yet again Colin, my room-mate is back in hospital only this time it is not an infection but rather blood clots in his lungs. Most of this week I have been beyond stressed out been cleaning this apartment from top to bottom rearranging many things like the apartment as well as packing up my boxes so as soon as there is a one bedroom apartment available I will be taking it, I am looking forward to moving out on my own again with my children (cats Kennie and Weston) and the stress of living here will hopefully be gone.

I am so worried about Colin,I have known him for twenty-six years and I have had a few times this week where I have cried endlessly not knowing if he will be returning home not knowing what his prognosis will be, not knowing what the future holds for Colin. He really has no clue how much people care about him. When we spoke briefly on Wednesday night after me coming home from work I was so upset because he told me that he does not think that anyone cares about him no matter how many times I have told him differently Colin still refuses to believe it so I guess what I say makes no difference I have tried everything to help Colin the end result for me always seems to be banging my head against a wall unfortunately for him he has now pushed me away which makes me very sad because it did not have to happen that way.

I called the Foothills hospital this evening and spoke with his nurse she gave me some updates he is now on oxygen with blood thinners  apparently very depressed because no-one has been visiting him which for me is frustrating I work during the week and do not get home until late, this weekend I was going to go up and visit with him but think I am starting to show signs of burn out with having to clean this entire apartment  do my laundry, try to catch up on my sleep with doing what seems to be endless amounts of dishes not to mention I have deliveries to make for my Avon clients and get my Avon campaign books out for delivery I have about three hundred of them to deliver.

Tomorrow being Sunday I plan to get much rest and do as little as possible except sleep, tonight I just finished doing my laundry and the third load of dirty dishes meaning all of Colin`s tupperware that has been stuffed away for I have no idea how long have to tell you it was disgusting I also need to get some groceries in the house so that I can do some cooking for my work week.

A week of surprises

Hi everyone:

This week has been a very interesting one for me, Monday started off pretty good got my new identification card from Alberta registries and much to my surprise I also received a final cheque from the last employer I worked for in Winnipeg and although it was a small one I was very happy.

I have also been putting out my postcards to residential areas to market my Avon business and so far it is going well thanks to my room-mate Colin as he has driven me around to different places which really helps a great deal,now I already have seven customers hopefully to get more soon.

I am not impressed with a couple of people who are Colin’s friends lately, the one person his name is Derek a few weeks ago he asked me if I would like to help him deliver flyers and  that he would pay me $40.00 I agreed to help him when I was able to that was a few weeks ago and have yet to see my money, Carolyn who is Derek’s wife she placed an order for almost $30.00 called me yesterday and gave me all kinds of excuses as to why she can’t pay for the Avon order as well as an excuse for her husband not to pop by and pay me the money he owes me which is today being Friday, how convenient that’s all I have to say about the matter,what really bothers me though is this they both went to Edmonton just last weekend.

I am glad I only helped Derek once and thank god I did not give Carolyn’s order or I would have ben out $30.00 as well. They both are not in my good books now I’ve given them more than enough chances already enough is enough.

I am also very tired today the last two nights I have not got to bed until after 5AM it’s starting to catch up with me and think I will be going to lie down for a while after this blog entry on Wednesday night both of my cats were fighting had to separate them for a while, I finally got to bed just after 5Am and last night being Thursday I had laundry to do and took it upon myself to do some of his as well.

I am very tired now and not very happy going to lie down for a while.

Have a great day.

Been a busy week

Hi Everyone:

Well, it has been a while since I last wrote in the blog I have been so busy but, have taken a rest for the last couple of days doing boxes. So much has gone on here since my last entry Colin, my room-mate, has been in hospital for pretty close to a week now he had gone in with a really bad skin infection this has been his second time in hospital and no idea of when he will be coming back home.

A couple of weeks ago I was dragging a very heavy tote with Colin’s stuff in it to the balcony the result, tendonitis in two places, when I had gone to see the doctor she gave me an ointment to put on twice a day for my arm/shoulder and after a few weeeks now I do not seem to be getting any better so now I may have to go back and get a cortisone shot which I am not looking forward to as I hate any type of needles.

It was my birthday today and had one phone call from my room-mate wishing me a happy birthday which was nice glad someone remembered, I decided to stay around the apartment and try to get a few things done emptied a couple of boxes and hung up a few pictures and called a few of my friends back home called Betty who is one of my Avon clients spoke with her daughter Tammy who also happens to be one of my Avon clients was good to talk to them, Claudette called me today as well she seems to be doing alright I keep in really close contact with her as well as Rose who I spoke with for three hours on Wednesday night she really misses me and misses her son Terry very much Rose has had a very hard time lately dealing with the loss of her son Terry I feel for her, I’ve been through it all myself too as well as Colin who just lost his mother one year ago who still finds it hard to get through the days hope my living here with him helps.

I am getting very tired now so upon closing sleep with angels and have a good Saturday

More packing

Oh my god!!

The time is getting closer nine days only!!!! talk about excitement but, at the very same time I am sad only because I will be leaving my good friends behind in the building.

I will be missing my friends here so very much and quite sure that it will be a very emotional day for me when I do leave,  I have promised them that I will be returning for a visit in the coming months hopefully to be renting a car to drive out here to Winnipeg.

On the home front Colin and I have kept in close contact everyday needless to say I am looking forward to seeing him when he arrives here to come and pick me up and head all the way back home taking our time across the prairies, can’t wait to take some pictures on the way back so looking forward to it.

The last couple of days my sleeping schedule, as usual is completely out of whack last night having been Saturday night I went to bed at around 6:30 pm was so tired after having not slept for a couple of nights and did not wake up until after 6:00 pm, this evening (being Sunday) still not feeling like I have had enough rest but when I get to my destination after moving I will be doing nothing but resting and more than likely starting to read my books as well as trying to find a job fairly soon aside from my Avon.

I told Allan on Saturday that I will be moving he was very sad to say the least, we have been friends for a few years now although we have had our differences like everyone else does. I have realized just how much that I am going to be missed here by many people.

I was looking on Kijiji tonight and wow its unbelievable how many jobs that I have found in Calgary already, I am hoping that I will not be out of work for too long as I’m already quite low on my funds.

No sleep

Hi Everyone:

I just realized that I have not written in my blog for quite sometime now it has been many months and need to start writing again..so much has happened to me since my last post and i’m just not sure on where to begin.

For the last week I have pulled off three all nighters and stayed up all day, I am just unable to sleep at night could be due to stress,  and many other things going on in my life and the likelihood that I will have to move to a different apartment now that I have found out there is black mold in my apartment right underneath my window, I am getting very sick and so are my kids (the cats Keenie and Weston).

I have also, in the last month had hardly any work,  my last pay cheque was just a little over $50 to last me a whole two weeks  and this week I have not worked any shifts as they have all been cancelled needless to say I am not in the least bit impressed.

Winnipeg is not only a dirty city in my opinion but, a poorly run one at that not to mention has the highest crime rate per capita and high unemployment rates no wonder there is so much crime going on.

I think that’s why most people who have lived in Winnipeg have been relocating,  for the simple reason there is no work to be had and I have  tried to find work elsewhere and there just isn’t any,  all I can say is thank god for Avon I don’t make much but at least I have a little to get me through the couple of weeks that I am without.


First blog entry in fourteen months

Well I am back once again to write in my blog and could not help but notice that it has been 14 months since my last entry wow is all I can say.

So much has happened in the last year, I started a new job just a little over a month ago after not being able to work in over a year due to my disability which is insomnia most nights and it affects my day-to-day living.

I am working as a market research interviewer its only part-time work and only pays me $9.50 per hour but it will do until after christmas and then I will be looking for work full-time and get myself away from this place that I live in and go back west where I belong in Calgary or Vancouver by the water.

More good news on the home front,  when I moved in here we were not allowed to have any animals and now they have changed the policy so now I am able to keep my little Kennie and have to tell you that I worship the ground my little Kennie walks on and everything he wants he gets and now I really have a greater appreciation of people who spoil their children my Kennie is one!

Back in March this past year I became an Avon Representative and was enjoying it immensely and was also doing very well for myself  never had any money problems and was always busy until some other woman in the building took most of my clients away, was I ever mad and I tell you I was really surprised on how many people actually ended up stabbing me in the back and lying to my face,once bitten and twice shy never again will I trust those same people who used to be my clients.

Anyway I am starting to get very tired now so calling it a night will write more on my blog soon.

%d bloggers like this: