I need to remind myself of this every day


Picture Quote of the day - August 18th 2010

I think as of today after reading this my way of thinking will change, I will no longer see myself as a failure in life.

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Introduction to my life


I decided to classify Introduction to my life under books only because this journal that I do hopefully will become a book someday to inspire and motivate others to keep on going although at best it may be hard to do sometimes.
There are many things that I remember that have been repressed in my memory over the course of so many years,  and as I write this entry have thought about another memory from my childhood which I will write about fairly soon that entry will be about a male doctor I went to go see when I was younger that well did something he was not supposed to in his office while having my physical examination.
People in society as a whole tell us that things just happen and although that may be true I have to say that nothing irritates me more than when people say “get over It” seriously like sometimes it is not that easy, honestly. Since having left home at the age of nineteen and having got married all I have really had in most of my relationships was physical abuse,  psychological abuse, sexual abuse  and spiritual abuse and the more recent one a few years back was financial abuse from one relationship. I will be talking about that more In depth as I start to remember more memories.
 The things that I write about may be empowering to some always remember never give up on your hopes and dreams, and although people may put you down and say It Is Impossible let me tell you nothing Is Impossible the sky’s the limit to all of those that think there is nothing left to live for, I’m living proof of that and to reach for the stars as the possibilities are endless, we all have the strength within ourselves to keep going and not give up I always remembered what my mother and father told me “God will never give you anything you can’t handle” It Is true and as we go through our challenges In life and deal with them the result Is we are stronger emotionally,  It also builds character so for all of you that read my blog remember that and If you are like me and have no family well your close friends do become your family true friends will always be there for you no matter what.

Starting to get settled in my new living environment


I have to say that I am feeling good about getting through my challenges over the last twenty or so years It has been a hellish ride let me tell you.
It all started many years ago when I got married in 1983 that was my first abusive relationship all the way to present day I will get into this abusive subject later in another blog  I have also been homeless and really felt all alone with no support which was only about five years ago It was at that point In my life a struggle to survive and life was not worth living, I have come along way since that time and now feel differently about life and myself as well as looking forward to the future.
There has also been some spiritual awakenings for me too, and after a long time with many challenges  I feel like I am becoming closer to god and pray almost every day I always think of the footprints and remember that when you feel alone you are not and in fact god is carrying you at that very point in your life I’ve not forgotten that and remember seeing it for the first time the day I went to the funeral home after my mothers passing god rest her soul and my dads too they were really good people and the best parents you could ask for  I brag about them all the time.
I was really happy when my friend Colin who I have known for many years said he was going to drive out to Winnipeg to come and rescue me from the Manitoba Housing building I was living in that was full of bed bugs and was constantly spraying our apartments not to mention the property manager that  had done absolutely nothing for any of the tenants in the building phone calls were never returned  seniors having to pay $97.00 to get their air conditioners put in not to mention our windows had not been cleaned in over three long years It was difficult to see out my windows.
Now I live back in Calgary in a nice apartment a two bedroom with Colin and my two children ( my cats) two balconies workout place downstairs and my bedroom is nice and comfortable peaceful and quiet here no black mold anymore and have not been sick since leaving Manitoba Housing and sleeping quite well as well as eating healthier food.
I am very concerned about my friend Colin he is quite heavy has many health issues and smokes like a chimney I have tried everything to help him and just unable to get anywhere he smokes a pack a day does not really get any exercise and when I try to help him he just fights with me every single time not knowing what to do next other than knock my head against a wall, I have told him that he wont live very long if he keeps up these habits of his but that does not seem to matter.
I am starting to get very tired now It’s almost 6AM and have not slept all night been doing laundry for Colin so to all a good night and sleep with angels.

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