Just the basics in life


When I was well enough I had entered in to the Victor Mager job re-entry program as mentioned before, we were given another assignment to do this was self-actualization needs which I would like to share with you here there were questions that I am going to highlight here that we had to answer and the ones not highlighted are my answers past and present.

My physical needs

Do you have enough to drink and eat

Back in 2008 when I was homeless I was beside myself not knowing where my next meal was coming from, luckily enough I was able to find many good resources. I had eaten in the same soup kitchen everyday having dinner for close to a month we had dinner at four pm and the people who I dined with at the table surprised me. Most of them either had a stroke of bad luck, gambled their money away even their house without their spouse or family knowing! and even people who had master degrees some of these people were actually quite smart and how they ended up homeless only god knows.Some other people had a mental Illness which is understandable and turning to drugs and alcohol as this is their only way of coping and because I have been homeless I understand why some, if not most have turned to that very thing. I am proud to say that it is something I have never done and don’t have any plans on doing so either.

Have you got adequate shelter? Are you comfortable enough in that environment?

Again in 2008 when I was homeless I saw many things that were a shock to my system literally I saw another side of life called homelessness. When I saw this for the first time I literally sat there and cried I wanted to end it all right then and there I was almost  ready to put myself in the psychiatric ward. I was able to have some help with a cheap motel room but still had no fixed address it was adequate and better than nothing I was grateful but was always concerned about what I was going to do the following month.

Do you have enough clothing

When I got to the west coast being Victoria BC where I became homeless all I came with was the clothes on my back with two totes in tow along with my sanity, at that point I wondered if I would ever get myself back on my feet again.

How many hours do you sleep at night on average?

Well, now I can honestly say that I am getting lots of rest and sleep however, because I am now sleeping almost ten hours per day I have to wonder if the sleep that I was lacking when I was homeless has finally caught up to me with sleeping so much. I was in my early forties when I became homeless my body has gone through many changes since that time and now I am not so sure if I were homeless again I could deal with it anymore, honestly at this point if that were to ever happen to me again I would more than likely put myself in the psychiatric ward and give myself a mental break from all the stress.

Do you engage in physical activity and what type?

When I was much younger I was always physically active roller skating, biking, swimming my friends could never find me reflecting back now those were some of the best years of my life. After I got married I no longer did any of the things that I had wanted to do always thinking the perfect housewife, anything I wanted to do was always put on the back burner. It has been almost thirty years, been divorced for twenty-seven of them, as much as I try to get into physical activity these days I just lack the motivation.

My safety and security needs

Do you have any concerns about your safety at home or at work within your environment and community?

I feel pretty safe where I am now in shelter  my two kids being the cats Keenie and Weston they give me unconditional love and bring much joy to my life, Colin, unfortunately at this point sadly I have to say from my point of view there is no hope for him as far as I am concerned he is on a suicide mission smoking himself to death and doing nothing about his current weight not to mention living in a very unhealthy environment which for me thank god I am now out of  and no longer have the burden of cleaning up the apartment, My Avon business has suffered now because of it and unfortunately have now lost most, if not all my clients.

As for safety issue at work the environment I work in is fine however, when I get off after eight pm a woman walking alone two blocks to the nearest bus stop in an industrial area no-one around and no- one other than truckers driving down the road I think this speaks for itself not to safe if you ask me.

Do you live in fear from harm and crime?

I feel pretty safe in shelter in this quiet residential neighborhood, the only time when I am in fear from harm and crime is when I must leave work by myself  and walk two blocks to the nearest bus stop.

My love and belonging needs

Do you feel adequately loved and wanted?

When I was living at home with my parents I felt very loved and very wanted I could not have asked for better parents my mother was especially protective of me I never really knew why until my mother and I started to get together on Sundays after my father passed away that was our day together and them my mom told me the story about my brother who would have been fifty-two my mother had a miscarriage long story but I will tell you about that at a later date my father Don loved me just as much.

Do I have enough people in my circle that I love?

Well, yes actually and although I have no family left to speak of, dont care for intimate relationships with the opposite sex anymore I’m only looking for companionship where I am able to share most things with  just a friendship and nothing more than that, Claudette my friend in Manitoba she will be 74 next year and Alan will be 64 in October next year also living in Manitoba and Rose  as well I call her my big sis I miss her so much and  I have learned many things from Rose, Claudette and Alan guidance which I can never thank them enough for.

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If you have a dream go after it


There is nothing stopping you

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We all have the courage don’t give up!


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Positive affirmations to remember


I try to do positive affirmations everyday although some days are more difficult it seems the more we say positive affirmations eventually we will start to belive it here are some.

I deserve happiness.

I have the power to change myself.

I can forgive and understand others and their motive.

I can make my choices and decisions.

I am free to choose to live as I wish no matter what my circumstances.

I am flexible and open to change in every aspect of my life.

I act with confidence having a general plan.

It is enough to have done my best.

I deserve love.

Moving out of your comfort zone


Your quote for the day


Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

Self reflection


Hello everyone:
 
I have decided that today’s entry would actually be part of the homework that I did while I was in school as it was part of life skills and self assessment.
It’s interesting to analyze things having realized that I have come along way from where I once was and would like to share it with you.

 

I am now feeling that my physical needs have been met for the most part here are a few examples:

  • My housing, I now live in a seniors highrise as opposed to a long-term shelter.
  • Having food on my table I will now live somewhat comfortable, was not able to before.
  • Have nice clean clothes and many of them where when I came to Manitoba literally had the clothes on my back and a few totes In tow.
  • I am now able to have a good nights sleep where before I did not get enough rest.
  • I have a warm place to live where long ago I was homeless.I live In a place where I feel comfortable and can relax for a change Instead of constant worry about when the next shoe will fall.

I feel that some of my safety and security needs have also been met a few examples are:

  • Safe home environment with a security entrance with 24 hour security.
  • Have friends that will support me In my journey to a better life.
  • I am realizing how strong-willed I am.
  • Emotionally feel that I only have to accept myself and does not matter If others accept me.
  • There Is still part of me that feels I need to be accepted by people.
  • I feel that I need to keep a safe distance from all people as I am afraid of people getting too emotionally close to me and me to them.
  • I am more cautious about my boundaries with others and to keep a safe distance.

Having the ability to love others, long for love and need to have a sense of belonging some examples: 

  • I do not feel a sense of belonging In society always felt like an outcast and still do.
  • I have given up on relationships with the male gender because of so many other failed relationships.
  • I do not trust other people.
  • I need to feel a sense of belonging as I have not felt that since I left home at 18.
  • I long for love In my life, someone to love me for me and someone who I can also love In return.
  • I care deeply for others and feel their distress and pain.
  • I am sensitive to others needs and help out when possible.

Self-Esteem and self concept needs, few examples of these are:

  • I see myself as a failure at relationships but as a very strong-willed person.
  • I am socially Isolated feeling like others do not accept me.
  • I do not feel valued as a person.
  • I now feel worthy of good things In my life where before I thought why bother trying.
  • I respect myself but others do not respect me or so It appears.
  • I need to find my sense of purpose In life.
  • I feel the need to be recognized and appreciated for the things I do.

Elaine’s self actualization needs:

I do not believe I have yet reached my fullest potential where my life Is concerned, there is still much to be accomplished. I have a great passion for animals and would give my life to save them.

I would like to stop the seal hunt that goes on off the coast of Newfoundland  and the Magdalen Islands where they kill them each year 275,000 to be exact between March and June most of them being between 4-6 weeks old .

I have not fulfilled anything yet in my life except just get by and determined to change to a better life. Until recently I did not have peace of mind but do now and finally able to relax I have never really been driven by money so the value of material things are really not that Important to me as long as I can get by with what I have, I also believe that It is how you live your life that matters the most, others who have done wrong I believe in the saying what comes around goes around.

My lifestyle Is a very simple one and as for my family I do not really have one anymore as my mother and father have since passed away, but, who I do have In my life that are not directly related to me but feel like they are my familyand just as important are Margaret I call her my adopted aunty but is actually a good friend of my mothers and consider her to be one of my family she Is much older around 70 or so she Is a wonderful woman Margaret was my mothers best friend when they both worked at Chevron together many years ago, after mom passed away we have remained friends ever since, then there’s Moksha who has seen me through many challenges  throughout the last few years true friend Indeed she knew my last partner and when she did not have the money had made a deposit of $50 just before Christmas of 2007 so that I could eat and get through the holidays, then of course there’s Colin my other dear friend whom I have known for more than twenty five years he has been a really great friend and wonderful support for me.

 I just wish there were more people like Moksha and Colin around they truly are one In a million kind of people, hope I have been as much of a friend to them as they have been to me and to you both my heartfelt thanks for being my friend especially so when no one else was there for me you both have never forgotten about me and that really truly does speak volumes so you see all three of these wonderful people who I have constant contact with truly have helped me through life they wont be forgotten.

I thought of becoming a lawyer working on behalf of animals but as far as I know In Canada there are no colleges or universities offering anything of the sort, then I thought of going Into business as mentioned earlier but I am not driven by money nor do I want a lot of It, recently I had spoken with a friend of mine (Colin) and he had actually suggested to me that I should share my life experiences so I am still taking that under consideration and might just end up becoming a motivational and Inspirational speaker hopefully to help others  that have found themselves in similar situations that I have been In thankyou Colin you have made me actually consider doing something like that.

I have also realized that one of the hurdles that I struggle with is living somewhat In the past although I have been getting better over the years am also happy to report that my life experiences have changed me as a person all for the better, I still sometimes try to cope with managing to move on and let It go but now when I do a journal entry every day I seem to be getting better  and well on the road to a healthy recovery.

 For those of you who know me well you know that I am  loyal, motivated, determined, driven, stubborn, open-minded and willing to try new things and not afraid of change, In fact I would rather embrace change and not run away from It, I’m honest, hardworking, willing to go the extra mile for others as well as willing to embrace challenges, I no longer live In fear but would rather grow as a person and have good quality people In my life with healthy boundaries.

I am proud of my accomplishments for there are many and would not be where I am today as a person had I not gone through all these tough times I have experienced It has made me stronger as a person, as well as made me very wise, and become more strong-willed that I would have ever Imagined I think I am also able to take on much more than the average person. 

 

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