Assertiveness myths versus reality


Assertiveness myths and reality
 
Society as a whole seems to think that a woman being assertive means they are being a “bitch” the myths that I am adding are among some that I believed for many years and considering myself to be a people pleaser I believed all of these from the time I entered my first relationship up until the time I left Alpha House:
 
Myth Assertive women are pushy women…..this Is why over time I was not assertive anymore thought I was being pushy.
The reality Is  Assertive women have defined their needs and boundaries and can communicate them, showing respect to others.
 
Myth If you say no to a request you are being selfish……this Is why I have found It hard to say no throughout the course of my relationships and being a people pleaser.
The reality is Saying no to a request Is simply setting a boundary, saying no can be done with thoughtfulness and consideration.
 
Myth To be polite you have to be non assertive….I thought this for so many years
The truth Is  Politeness is courteousness. Being non assertive so I found out would be the Inability to communicate ones own needs and boundaries.
 
Myth  Being assertive also means conflict and I really hate conflict…I believed this from the time I left home through my relationships and up until I left Alpha House.
The reality is  Aggressiveness stirs up conflict.. It only stirs up conflict If we are dealing with a person who Is unwilling to accept or respect our boundaries.
 
Myth  If we learn to use assertiveness, you might become a “bitch”… yes I did believe this one for a good many years society seems to think that way In my opinion.
The reality is If we use assertive skills they show respect for ourselves and for others and you will never be a “bitch”, However, we may be called a bitch by anyone who would be unwilling to acknowledge our legitimate needs and our boundaries… It would appear that this would be their way of avoiding their own shortcomings.
 
 
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