Just the basics in life


When I was well enough I had entered in to the Victor Mager job re-entry program as mentioned before, we were given another assignment to do this was self-actualization needs which I would like to share with you here there were questions that I am going to highlight here that we had to answer and the ones not highlighted are my answers past and present.

My physical needs

Do you have enough to drink and eat

Back in 2008 when I was homeless I was beside myself not knowing where my next meal was coming from, luckily enough I was able to find many good resources. I had eaten in the same soup kitchen everyday having dinner for close to a month we had dinner at four pm and the people who I dined with at the table surprised me. Most of them either had a stroke of bad luck, gambled their money away even their house without their spouse or family knowing! and even people who had master degrees some of these people were actually quite smart and how they ended up homeless only god knows.Some other people had a mental Illness which is understandable and turning to drugs and alcohol as this is their only way of coping and because I have been homeless I understand why some, if not most have turned to that very thing. I am proud to say that it is something I have never done and don’t have any plans on doing so either.

Have you got adequate shelter? Are you comfortable enough in that environment?

Again in 2008 when I was homeless I saw many things that were a shock to my system literally I saw another side of life called homelessness. When I saw this for the first time I literally sat there and cried I wanted to end it all right then and there I was almost  ready to put myself in the psychiatric ward. I was able to have some help with a cheap motel room but still had no fixed address it was adequate and better than nothing I was grateful but was always concerned about what I was going to do the following month.

Do you have enough clothing

When I got to the west coast being Victoria BC where I became homeless all I came with was the clothes on my back with two totes in tow along with my sanity, at that point I wondered if I would ever get myself back on my feet again.

How many hours do you sleep at night on average?

Well, now I can honestly say that I am getting lots of rest and sleep however, because I am now sleeping almost ten hours per day I have to wonder if the sleep that I was lacking when I was homeless has finally caught up to me with sleeping so much. I was in my early forties when I became homeless my body has gone through many changes since that time and now I am not so sure if I were homeless again I could deal with it anymore, honestly at this point if that were to ever happen to me again I would more than likely put myself in the psychiatric ward and give myself a mental break from all the stress.

Do you engage in physical activity and what type?

When I was much younger I was always physically active roller skating, biking, swimming my friends could never find me reflecting back now those were some of the best years of my life. After I got married I no longer did any of the things that I had wanted to do always thinking the perfect housewife, anything I wanted to do was always put on the back burner. It has been almost thirty years, been divorced for twenty-seven of them, as much as I try to get into physical activity these days I just lack the motivation.

My safety and security needs

Do you have any concerns about your safety at home or at work within your environment and community?

I feel pretty safe where I am now in shelter  my two kids being the cats Keenie and Weston they give me unconditional love and bring much joy to my life, Colin, unfortunately at this point sadly I have to say from my point of view there is no hope for him as far as I am concerned he is on a suicide mission smoking himself to death and doing nothing about his current weight not to mention living in a very unhealthy environment which for me thank god I am now out of  and no longer have the burden of cleaning up the apartment, My Avon business has suffered now because of it and unfortunately have now lost most, if not all my clients.

As for safety issue at work the environment I work in is fine however, when I get off after eight pm a woman walking alone two blocks to the nearest bus stop in an industrial area no-one around and no- one other than truckers driving down the road I think this speaks for itself not to safe if you ask me.

Do you live in fear from harm and crime?

I feel pretty safe in shelter in this quiet residential neighborhood, the only time when I am in fear from harm and crime is when I must leave work by myself  and walk two blocks to the nearest bus stop.

My love and belonging needs

Do you feel adequately loved and wanted?

When I was living at home with my parents I felt very loved and very wanted I could not have asked for better parents my mother was especially protective of me I never really knew why until my mother and I started to get together on Sundays after my father passed away that was our day together and them my mom told me the story about my brother who would have been fifty-two my mother had a miscarriage long story but I will tell you about that at a later date my father Don loved me just as much.

Do I have enough people in my circle that I love?

Well, yes actually and although I have no family left to speak of, dont care for intimate relationships with the opposite sex anymore I’m only looking for companionship where I am able to share most things with  just a friendship and nothing more than that, Claudette my friend in Manitoba she will be 74 next year and Alan will be 64 in October next year also living in Manitoba and Rose  as well I call her my big sis I miss her so much and  I have learned many things from Rose, Claudette and Alan guidance which I can never thank them enough for.

Advertisements

Eleven more days


Hi Everybody:

Well, as the topic reads, eleven more days and counting until I leave here and can finally start to recover from all the health issues I have had over the last few years and find peace and quiet without having a whole bunch of drunken people on my floor knocking on doors at all hours of the night as well as making noises from one end of the hall to the other, seems the closer I get to moving day the more I am getting excited to move out of Manitoba Housing to begin a new chapter of my life.

My friend and I were finally able to come to a few resolutions about our issues so I am now happy to report that I will, in fact be moving out of this apartment block thank god.

I am really looking forward to having a bigger bedroom with 900 square foot space with a balcony and another balcony in the master bedroom, apparently there is also a workout facility in the building among many other benefits  the best part is though I will be able to see the Rocky mountains from afar with only 90 minutes drive, I can’t wait to go back to Banff and smell the mountain air.

My packing is going well am able to take my time and in the last day or so I have felt quite overwhelmed with all this paperwork that I must get sorted out and file.

I will more than likely sleep for a few days and really rest and relax, unlike what I have been able to do here  for a very long time.  I can’t wait for a barbecue and cook a filet mignon with carrots  butter and maple syrup with a stuffed baked potato and oh did I forget to  mention ribs?.

Interesting couple of weeks ahead


Well today is another day,I never went to bed last night because I was so upset with what had transpired earlier last night with my friend Colin,  I am feeling confused, overwhelmed and wondering what I’m supposed to be doing about this move  now it seems my life is literally hanging in the balance.

Sometimes I wonder if I should not just be alone with the kids no hassles no headaches and due to the fact that in the past I have had nothing but people interfere in my life perhaps I might be better off living alone.

I have packed most of my boxes in the apartment  and not much else really to do except go through all of my papers.

In the last week I have pulled off several all nighters and think at this point it is catching up with me because all I want to do is sleep,  not only that I think because of everything going on in my life now I also want to sleep even more depression has really got the better of me as of late and  would like to have the day over.

So, I heard from my movers today through e-mail and they have set a date for me July 18th  have tried to call Colin and he was out and has yet to call me back I tried calling two times today.

I am very tired and think I will call it a night enough blogging for one day.

%d bloggers like this: