The stages of grief


1)  Shock and numbness

This is often the first reaction and the hardest. This is a body reflex that usually occurs right after the loss. It is a way that the body shuts down our emotional system and provides a temporary cushion against the full impact of our loss.

It does not usually last for more than a couple of weeks but can occur when the pain gets too much. This is not usually a good time for making any long-term decisions.

2) Denial and withdrawal

This is the “oh no this isn’t happening” reaction. At this stage we are trying to absorb that the loss really happened .Some of the signs are feeling weak which happened to me quite often, feeling drained of energy it was like that for me nearly everyday, loss of appetite this is a big one for me, to this very day I still have this issue I even have my friends worried about me as I now have an eating disorder because of it I still only eat one small meal a day even then sometimes I takes me an hour to eat, sleep disturbances or not being able to sleep, for about five years now I have had this ongoing issue of not being able to sleep so unfortunately I am having to take medication every single night before I go to bed otherwise I will be up for days on end. This stage  can feel  very confusing and it can feel like you are going crazy. This stage will come and go regularly.

3) Acknowledgement and pain

At this stage, we begin to know that the loss is true and ongoing I dealt with this for twenty-five years it was so hard for me. We feel everything. This is overwhelming.It is important to remember that these feelings will not last forever. We need long-term support at this stage as it can take a long time to recover as I mentioned at the beginning it took me twenty-five years to finally be able to let go.

4) Adapting and renewal

At this stage, we begin to feel like living again. A future seems possible and times of pain decrease.

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