Very upset


Hello everyone:

I have not been online writing for a while and today, I think will be more of a venting session than anything else. As the title says I am very upset tonight beyond words, I am so stressed out I come home from work and seems to me that most of the time I have to clean up after my room-mate and now well seriously I am at my wit’s end I have finally had enough, I come home to a dirty kitchen, dirty toilet that I constantly have to use wipes for, sometimes there is urine on the floor, does not follow through with many things and now that Christmas is around the corner I have asked Colin to take me shopping so that we can get some groceries in the house and this has not been done yet  and today is the 23rd of December and feeling like I  am a maid more than anything else  and sick to death of it , I have given up even talking to Colin about anything anymore due to being so defensive.

When Colin had gone into the hospital the man was near death because of his breathing, smoking, weight issue everything  and although Colin has cut down on his smoking substantially, his breathing I have noticed lately that he is having problems breathing again. I have also had many conversations with Colin about getting some help cleaning in this apartment and to this date nothing he has done nothing about it, I also spoke of his health issues and explained to him that if you want to get sick again and make unhealthy choices by not quitting smoking I will make it my mission to leave this apartment and not watch him die a slow death.He may not change his choices but, I can change what I do so,  I have plans to move when the opportunity presents itself.

I have to tell you honestly I am not sure what is going to happen to this friendship once I leave here,  this friendship I think is slowly fading and find myself starting to keep my distance more than I used to, I have told Colin this on more than one occasion and nothing ever seems to change.

 

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Counting the days hoping for my own apartment soon


Hi everyone:

I have been so very busy lately and not had time to write on my blog but tonight I have been able to find some time after a really hectic busy couple of weeks. Well, my room-mate again for the fifth time is back in hospital due to yet another skin infection he went in on Saturday night I am very concerned about him he seriously is a walking time bomb I swear because of his weight problem, hygeine issues and the continous smoking and over the last three months it does not appear that he has made any progress in doing anything productive with his life.

We have had many fights as of late my blood pressure is seriously on the rise, I`m tired because I am continously cleaning the apartment getting really worn out and have to tell you I`m starting to get really frustrated as far as this living arrangment is concerned, not to mention not only am I stressed out but now all of this fighting and stress is starting to affect my cats as well for example when we had this arrangement that I would be moving here on a temporary basis we had an agreement that there was going to be no smoking in the apartment because of my cats being allergic to the smoke he agreed not to, this apartment has two balconies one in the  living room which I use as well as him the other is in his bedroom which he never uses, I spoke with him regarding this smoking  issue and kindly ask that if he wished to smoke in the apartment to atleast go in his room and open his own balcony door and smoke in there and he chose not to comprimise so my cats have to put up with this smoking habit of his once was in the living room and once in the kitchen so until I move I have no other choice but to deal with this which causes me much stress.

I must put an end to this soon so my plan is to move out soon and if need be I will have to find a hotel room across the street from where I live my health is starting to get worse and my cats are also being affected with this living arrangement.

On a better note I started a new job today at Direct Buy working in a call centre I am so happy and it pays $12.00 hour this is such a relief for me I will be independent again and have a sense of self worth doing something productive with my life and having long as well as short term goals some of them getting a car, taking a much needed vacation and an apartment of my own.

I must go for now have many things things to do sleep with angels everyone and take care

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