Recent updates

Hello my fellow bloggers and followers:

It has been a while since I have written on my blog, I have been so busy and many things have happened to me in the past month or so not to mention my stress level has been on the uprise for the last week.

In January I don’t know if I told you about this but I was in an accident with a transit bus, I was also in the process of moving into my apartment at the end of January 2013 after having been in women’s shelter for approx one month it sure was nice to have my independence, live my life alone with my cats as I really do enjoy my company.

Two weeks into February 2013 we all had a surprise in our call centre, the general manager gave all of us without having any notice what so ever was closing down the call centre immediately, this was our last shift I have to tell you I was not in the least bit impressed so here I was just having moved into my apartment I’m beside myself so what do I do now?.

Other than being stressed out wondering what I am going to do, not knowing how I am going to pay rent, put food on the table, have a bus pass and I am unable to work due to this accident as I have physiotherapy three times per week for the last two months now, today I have had close to fourteen treatments of physiotherapy with no signs of physiotherapy ending anytime in the future and now that I am unable to work for an extended period and have had to apply for unemployment insurance which, turns out, will only be paying me $119 per week for fifteen weeks not to mention that social assistance will have to cover almost everything at this time.

I also forgot to mention that the owner of the building that I moved into in February 2013 well he plans to hike up the rent yet another $50.00 needless to say I am not very happy to say the least. I am  frustrated about many things it always seems to me that when I take a few steps ahead I get further behind.


Frustration hits record high for me today

Why is it that women in shelter leave from abuse and people on the outside thinking that we either ask for the abuse and expected to say I’m sorry and when we leave get treated like we are third class citizens.  I am very frustrated today and really dislike some people I can assure you that this will be the last time that I live with anyone ever again. This whole issue has consumed me for I do not know how long and I will be lucky if I don’t lose my job over this whole fiasco.

My blood pressure is up and unable to get an escort without waiting for 6, 8 possibly even 12 hours just to get my clothes I feel sick, emotionally drained and feel like there is no end to this nightmare I am currently living thank god I have my portable DVD player and my $300 camera with me and the kids are in a safe and healthy environment (my cats) Keenie and Weston at this point that’s all I really care about.

I am going to have to go back to the apartment at some point to pick up my things more specifically my clothes and furniture for storage just the thought of going back literally makes me feel quite nauseated and my stomach has been upset all day long.

I am too tired to write anymore today perhaps again tomorrow

Reflections and facts about me

How things can change from one day to the next like goals, career path, living arrangements and moving to a different city, on this post I reflect on my past my plans.

Past In the past the most important goal in my life was to finish the Victor Mager job-re-entry program in Winnipeg and go into my chosen field which was Psychology/Social Work.

Now I am looking forward to a brighter future living back in my hometown of Calgary with a better paying job surrounded by good friends, my children Keenie and Weston and hopefully to look forward to living back on my own.

Past One of the major obstacles between myself and meeting my goals in Winnipeg were trying to balance  school at Victor Major, doing homework and working part-time at the same time.

Now that I’m back in Calgary I would really like to find a good paying job in fact just yesterday I had an interview for a Resident Manager live in position paying $3000.00 per month.

The one personal quality that I have that I feel accounts for my success in life to date is my determination and drive not to quit I am a very stubborn woman.

The one personal weakness that I used to have and that was holding me back from greater success years ago was self sabotage.

If I were to make a movie of my life I would call it The trials, tribulations, and success of Elaine’s life.

My definition of self fulfillment is feeling a sense of accomplishment and being happy with one’s self.

The areas of my life that I am most happy and content with is being able to have a safe, stable home environment, feel a sense of inner peace, be in my hometown, have a half decent job I have a good friend in Colin and my two children Keenie and Weston.

The changes that I can make today to improve my quality of life are many I have learned to not worry about the future that is in god’s hands, I would like to learn stress management, take more courses and what I am most passionate about is animals cats, dogs, rabbits, birds you name it so what I would really like to do is hold a fundraiser for my local SPCA in Calgary and improve their quality of life no animal deserves to be homeless, unloved and not have any food to eat they all deserve to have someone who loves them and that will take care of them.

With that being said please remember our animal friends during the Christmas season and please give to your local SPCA.

Thank you on behalf of the animals.

Life and stress

Pound Coins … Or lack of

There are many things that stress me out such as the lack of money, messy house that I’m constantly having to clean, no work, not knowing where my next meal is coming from and being homeless which I have experienced before due to someone being selfish the list really is endless.

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A little bit of help

Well, today there have been many things going on in the house, Lately I have started to feel like more of a maid than a room-mate I’m starting to feel resentful of Colin having to do almost everything since I arrived here moving boxes, trying very hard to get some sense of organization around here  I am even unable to cook in the kitchen due to a mess that I have asked Colin to take care of repeatedly going on three days tomorrow I have also done all of his laundry as well as mine and all I have asked him for is to wipe the tables, clean the kitchen, empty dishwasher which seems to be a task, like I really understand that Colin has some health issues and his mobility is not the best but there are some things that can be done if you sit on a chair.

A lot of the stuff Colin and I have are in boxes which takes up a lot of room here and trying to move around in this apartment is very difficult so I think I will be talking to Colin in the next day or so getting this stuff moved out of this apartment  this being disorganized is really stressing me out really bad as well as my cats and really to be quite honest with you I wish I had stayed in housing now as opposed to being here as there were no messes, there was a sense of organization and not having to ask someone to do anything which I’m feeling like I have to do constantly and starting to get sick and tired of it already and have not been here for ten days yet.

The kids have settled in nicely with no problems really other than the fact that one cat gets jealous of the other seems that Kennie does not want to have Weston on the bed when he’s sleeping Kennie gets very mad with me Weston however not much bothers this cat he just wants lots of love and attention just like my Kennie they are both the love of my life I love them more than I love life itself.

Since living here with Colin I have slept very well it’s also very quiet here and would like to start looking for work very soon was thinking front desk at one of the hotels that is nearby we went to Dairy Queen the other day and they are paying $12.00/hr so I guess the wages have gone up since I was living in Calgary five years ago which is a good thing I think later I will check out the Canada Job Bank too.

What a great day

Hello everyone:

Well, today I must say has been full of surprises as mentioned in my previous blogs I have just finished pulling off three all nighters in a row needless to say I’m quite tired so went to bed relatively early last night being Friday and slept in until 1230PM Saturday,  I had to be at work by 1PM and as it ended up I was late not impressed with myself to say the least.

I had problems signing in to my EZlabour which Is our timesheet sort of speak and by the time I got to dialing on the phone well it was 1:40pm what a way to start off the day and it only got worse from there, I was not feeling very well to start with aches and pains literally I found it so very hard to even get up from my chair and move around, got called into the field managers office and had been written up got  in trouble for getting up and getting a more comfortable chair to sit in funny how I never had a problem doing that before no one ever said anything to me in the last year was told to go home early ask me If I was happy.

Got home and Allan who used to be a friend of mine and no longer is after today approached me to ask me for $0.80 cents not that it is a problem however when you add up all the change I have given him over the last few years It certainly adds up and not once did I ask for it back nor has ever offered to pay it back to me I had warned him about asking me for money he is an alcoholic and I’m sick and tired of enabling him and supporting his habit and finally today was the last straw I shut him down for good.

On a happy note though when I got home from work I met up with Claudette who is a very good friend of mine we are very close went over to the Norwood Hotel across the street I had french onion soup and Claudette had a cup of coffee as she had already ate her dinner we had a good visit when we arrived back in the apartment block that’s when shit hit the fan with me and Allan from then on I was so upset I felt my blood pressure rise with a headache and pain in my collar-bone not a good situation and have calmed down after a few hours of venting at Colin my friend for twenty-five years I tell you some days I don’t know what I would do without him.

Its Friday!

Hello everyone:

Well, pulled another all-nighter and slept maybe at most one hour this morning so needless to say I’m having a good start to my day today not!!!!!

I have many things to do today laundry, pick up the small pay cheque that I’m getting and go and get some groceries in my black mold apartment that I live in currently but hopefully not for much longer.

People in the building that I live in that are my friends are quite concerned about me as my attitude has been changing dramatically and may have something to do with the fact that I will be making some changes in the near future,  add anxiety and stress to that what does that equal  recipe for disaster,  I am getting sicker by the day with my stress level rising and the fact that I will be out of work for at least the next two weeks if not longer and hopefully not here long enough to find out  hopefully Colin will come through for me.

I am just really not happy in Winnipeg the people are not friendly, the bus drivers here are rude and speed down the streets and don’t wait for people to sit down before moving, lack of work everywhere with no resources really to help people get on their feet or start a small business unless you want to have one with Avon but with Avon you have the potential to make lots of money however,  as with many things it does take time and does not happen instantly, as well the crime rate here is alarming in fact just the other day up in St Vital which happens to be one of the safer places to live a lady was on her way to work when she got stabbed and heard yesterday that she died ask me if I feel safe in this city,  personally I cant wait to get out of It.

I am suffering very badly today of anxiety and feeling quite anxious  really on edge I have a headache and the things that I usually enjoy I no longer do.

Sometimes I find it so hard to get through the days and can’t wait for the day to be over I really hope that I can get to Calgary fairly soon and start my life over again fresh and new and would like to make it to Calgary in time for Stampede week which is coming up there fairly soon.

No sleep

Hi Everyone:

I just realized that I have not written in my blog for quite sometime now it has been many months and need to start writing much has happened to me since my last post and i’m just not sure on where to begin.

For the last week I have pulled off three all nighters and stayed up all day, I am just unable to sleep at night could be due to stress,  and many other things going on in my life and the likelihood that I will have to move to a different apartment now that I have found out there is black mold in my apartment right underneath my window, I am getting very sick and so are my kids (the cats Keenie and Weston).

I have also, in the last month had hardly any work,  my last pay cheque was just a little over $50 to last me a whole two weeks  and this week I have not worked any shifts as they have all been cancelled needless to say I am not in the least bit impressed.

Winnipeg is not only a dirty city in my opinion but, a poorly run one at that not to mention has the highest crime rate per capita and high unemployment rates no wonder there is so much crime going on.

I think that’s why most people who have lived in Winnipeg have been relocating,  for the simple reason there is no work to be had and I have  tried to find work elsewhere and there just isn’t any,  all I can say is thank god for Avon I don’t make much but at least I have a little to get me through the couple of weeks that I am without.


Black mold and no work

Hello Everyone:

Well, after sleeping all day I am feeling a bit more rested and more relaxed, but quite concerned about the fact that I have black mold in my apartment,  I told housing a couple of years ago about the fact that paint was starting to peel from my walls (every year they have done inspections)  they told me it would be looked after but hasn’t and now I’m in big trouble because I am starting to get really sick and now that I am paying closer attention to this issue seriously getting more and more sick by the day and have been for months  and it has only been recently that I have seen black mold with the paint starting to peel off at an alarming rate.

My cats are sneezing every so often as well as myself  and some of the other symptoms, that I have Is stuffy and runny nose  I have also recently found out that black mold Is toxic and fatal and can attack your nervous system I’m getting many headaches as well real healthy environment to be living in.

So scheduling department of where I work called me again today and you guessed It cancelled shift again looks like the weekend is going to be pretty much the same wonder what the week ahead will bring?

Seriously I’m almost at my wit’s end here and wondering If I should seriously make that move to Calgary sooner than later as it seems there are many things working against me here.

I have found that I have way too much time on my hands with not working, I have looked for other places to work In Winnipeg but unless you have restaurant experience you will not find much in the line of work here not to mention I am unable to be on my feet for long periods of time.

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