My life overall has been full of nothing but stress and over the course of many years have found It very difficult to deal with and not knowing how to deal with It over time has caused me to lash out at others which was never my Intention but happened nonetheless I have done quite a bit of reading on stress, anxiety, sleep disorders and the like I think all of what I mentioned are Intertwined together here are some ways that I found that will help to lessen the burden on dealing with stress perhaps they may be of some use to others as well… I know that most, If not all these help me :
Cultivate spirituality
Find ways to renew your soul and spirit..I know for many years I went Into a dark place felt no one loved me and did not feel that I was worth being loved because so many things were going wrong In my life grew distant to god until I came here to Manitoba and my whole life changed for the better I might add, going Into second stage housing with Intense counselling for 9 months and although the counselling for me was very painful at best the payoff for me has been a good one as I have come closer to god and my belief Is with god ALL things are possible.
Nutrition and rest
Basic components to overall health…Believe me when I tell you If you do not have these components you will become very sick, unable to think clearly, weak, tired, and In my case a real loss of appetite to the point of concern and although I used to take my health for granted when I was much younger It has caught up to me now that I am almost 47 and just adds more to your stress level when you dont get the proper sleep and eat healthy so Iv found out do yourself a favor and dont make the same mistake I did.
Talk It out
Talking over your worries with somone you trust or close friends can relieve your tension and bring problems In some kind of perspective for so many years I kept everything bottled up Inside me because I did not think, and after so many times of being told that people did not want to hear about my problems I was just told to deal with It so I decided to not say anything anymore and my payback was an ulcer at the age of 22 and now that I am almost 47 I still get flareups with my ulcer so do yourself a favor and and talk to close friends and people that you trust that will not throw things up In your face In years to come and/or try to find some support groups too.
Try excercising go to the gym
I know that when I get really upset, angry, and frustrated physical activity Is one of the best things to do to relieve tension and Increase your well being there has been many times when I have been frustrated and the tension In my body Is taking Its toll along with headaches turning Into migraines and have found for me that going to the gym works It off and usually end up spending a whole afternoon there and later In the day after having an Intense workout I become much more relaxed and tend to think much more clearly.
Pay attention to your thoughts
Try to avoid negative thinking, try not to put yourself down and create realistic messages about your abilities yes I know I am one to talk as I have done this for many years and still do from time to time but seems to be getting less and less I think It is a learned behavior negative thinking, putting myself down all the time was a part of my everyday life, due to my low self esteem being In a state like this, I have found for me putting yourself down along with negative thinking will put you Into a state of depression and once I am at that point It Is so hard to get yourself out of It, so try to think good things about yourself and try to think positive thoughts as opposed to the negative ones.
Clarify your values and realize that you do have a purpose In life
Try building your life around these and try and realize that you have your own morals, values and a purpose In life we have our own morals and values In life It does not matter If others agree with them or not Its all about you and people accepting you the way that you are.
One of the big things that I have struggled with for many years Is having to realize that I have a purpose In life, many times I have felt that I was put on this earth for no purpose whatsoever except pain and heartache which has been for a good part of 25 years with many losses In my life which tore my whole life apart for example the loss of my father, my mother, my 3 children who eithier died from spontaneous abortion or miscarried and of course my son Donnie who, to this very day have not seen since he was 3 , he Is now 25 years of age and still to this day miss him very much especially holidays and Christmas which was close to when Donnie was born along with broken and abusive relationships.. I have now found my calling and that Is to help others and write a book about my life and hope to be an Inspiration to others and be an Inspirational speaker as well however, If I am to eventually do that shall we say toastmasters will be In order.
So always remember although you may have many moments where you do not know your purpose In life never forget we ALL have a purpose In life.
Simplify your life
Too many things can be very overwhelming especially if you have more than one thing going at a time well, this really would describe me In the past however, now I try not to overwhelm myself by doing many things at once as It confuses the hell out of me and not sure what In gods name Im doing sometimes I tried to be wonderwoman however I have since realized It wont happen no matter how hard I try not only that but talk about stress you know Its just not worth It so I simplified my life and now I feel like a new person.
Time management this can be learned If It Is a problem, for me, my problem was not taking any time out for myself but putting everything else as a priority only thing that was missing was me and now that I have left Alpha House and made a new life they have taught me to take some time and do self care which Is part and parcel of time management so take some time for yourself as you are worth It women, children and men.
Make time for Leisure activities and laughter all work and no play no so not healthy, I found that laughter truly Is the best medicine, relieves stress and tension life Is too serious to take everything seriously all the time and leisure activities no matter what It is reading a book, swimming, shopping or what ever makes you happy make time for the activities that you like to do and enjoy I finally have after so many years of not doing so.
Pace yourself this Is something that I have had to learn to do as many years ago pacing myself I dont think I ever heard of the term was always on the go never stopping to take a deep breath and look at what I was doing to myself, looking back now I think that more than likely had added to my stress level so now I do not take on as much as I once did and have become much more relaxed and make a point of pacing myself.
Relax your standards no one Is perfect we are all human we are not perfect beings and we do from time to time make mistakes I have made plenty of them I have also tried to be a perfectionist and no matter how hard we try to be we never will be a perfectionist so all I can do Is try my very best and just leave the rest.
Avoid negative people wow this one was huge for me, not so very long ago anyone that would give me the time of day became a friend to me or so I thought only to be betrayed In the end or lied to or taken advantage of or some type of abuse It was a very hard lesson for me to learn all for the sake of acceptance which I never had anyway so now I am more particular about the company I keep and that way I will not be with others that drag me down and be around negativity Instead to be around more positive people which with It will bring positive energy.
Letting go for those of you that know me very well you know how hard It has been for me to let go of past Issues a few of those are resentment, and distrust ( this was a big one for me) It has drained me emotionally, drained me of energy and joy I have found, and looking back now I have realized that It has stopped me from living a life of peace and contentment just to name a few and although for many years I had no Idea how to let go I have been able to with the help of the many counsellors that started the journey of healing with me.
Count your blessings although In life things do have a habit of going wrong from time to time I have realized that what some people might take for granted may be very hard for others to achieve like a good paying job, a car, a nice home I now, after being homeless and close to loosing my sanity on many different occassions I no longer take things for granted such as the good paying job, two of which I had previously only for them to both be eithier bought out by an american company or the department had closed down and the nice home that I lived In with my parents and the condo that I did Inherit from my mothers estate I went from having everything I wanted all the way to what seemed to me at the time of being homeless to hell so I no longer take things for granted, having been homeless myself have a better understanding of the people that do live on the street and each and everyday I count my blessings and for the wonderful people In my life that really care about me you know who you are so count your many blessings for they are many.
Have Integrity, honesty and self respect not so long ago I used to get up In the morning and look at myself In the mirror and I was totally disgusted with myself and my life having my moments when I just wanted to end It all but after a long struggle of self sabatoge I overcame It and have a much better and positive attitude about myself and my life I regained my Integrity and self respect the payoff was a great one and glad I hung In there.
Contribute to others to give of yourself It creates a feeling of purpose and accomplishment you will be able to go home at the end of the day and realize the you have accomplished something which will create a feeling of purpose In your life.
Elaine's Daily Journal 